雅思作文你来写我来改【第七期】

沪江网雅思频道访谈之雅思作文名师修改

题目：

Some people say that it is not right for the government to spend so much money on artistic project, such as galleries and sculptures. Do you agree or disagree with them?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own konwledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

红色笔迹为昂立托福雅思中心陈智老师的批改！

沪友A的作文：

After solving physical food problem, nowadays, people is more likely to pay attention on mental satisfaction, such as appreciating performance, listening music and so on. Most of them are provided by government. However, there is another group consider that the government isn’t responsible for spending so much money on those artistic project. Personally, I disagree with that point.

First of all, only could the government afford the expenses that build and protect artistic project. According to a survey, around 5630 million is spent by the government per year. It is apparently seen that ordinary people is unaffordable to those artistic project.

Secondly, the aim of paying lot money for artistic project is to improve aesthetical appreciation with promoting living condition. On the news paper, it said that, an increasing number of artistic projects are going to begin in a relatively rich province. Therefore, the local people is able to enjoy arts while walking or during spare time. Consequently, both mental and physical sides are enhanced, thus raising the level of attainment.

Secondly, the aim of paying lot money for artistic project is to improve aesthetical appreciation with promoting living condition.应稍作修改Secondly, the aim of paying certain amount of money for artistic project is to improve aesthetical appreciation of people in addition to promoting their living condition. On the news paper, it said that, an increasing number of artistic projects are going to begin in a relatively rich province.语法问题：On the news paper, it was said that an increasing number of artistic projects were being proposed and prepared in relatively rich provinces. Therefore, the local people are able to enjoy arts while walking or during their spare time. Consequently, both spiritual life and material life are fulfilled, thus raising the living standard.

Furthermore, it is also another mean to appeal people to protect and cherish arts, which are endgering in the world. Through watching arts, people understand they acquire amount of happiness. As a result, a growing number of people join in the group that takes protection as enjoying themselves.

From above, we can see that it is the government’s responsibility that spends money on these artistic projects. It is the government’s efforts that make our mental world more rich.

From the above discussed, we can see it is the government’s responsibility to spend money on these artistic projects and it is the government’s efforts that make our spiritual world richer.结果过于简短，可以适当加长。

沪友B的作文：

Governments need to spend money on projects anyway, either artistic ones or non-artistic ones. Meanwhile, we, as the tax payers whose money the governments are using, should benefit from those projects. As long as the money is not used for declaring an evil war or hidden under the beds of some senior leaders, I believe the spending can be justified.

Of course we need good living support, such as public transportation, health care, social welfare for those in need and a clean environment, it doesn’t mean that artistic projects are abundant. We need to please our eyes and souls to survive in this world and paintings and sculptures are a good way to do that, on the foundation that they are valuable ones. In this sense, governments are playing a key role in entertaining the general public.

Of course we need good living support, such as public transportation, health care, social welfare for those in need and a clean environment, but it doesn’t mean that artistic projects are abundant. We need to please our eyes and souls to survive in this world and paintings and sculptures are a good way to meet such need, on the condition that they are valuable ones. In this sense, governments are playing a positive (强调其正面作用) role in entertaining the general public.

I’m living in a city where a good museum is right in the center. The museum is always crowded on weekends, annoying but in the mean time showing people’s interest in this kind of places. If I were to choose between a gorgeous city hall and more good (基本语法有问题，可改为an enchanting art) museum for a visit, I would certainly go for the latter one.

In a word, the only criteria to judge if money is well spent is whether it benefits those who it intended to benefit. If the projects are something we would appreciate, I’m two thumbs up for them.

In a word, the only criteria to judge if money is well spent is whether it benefits those who it is intended to benefit. If the projects are something we would appreciate, I’m two thumbs up (口语化了) for them.

多谢昂立教育名师对我们沪友作文的修改！